In His Own Words: Houston’s Progress Report

Howdy y’all. Houston here. Why, me and 30 of my pals were relinquished from a Texas breeder. Even made dem fancy newscasts. Anywhoo, some kind-hearted folks sprung me from that yucky situation and drove me on the interstates all the way up to New York. And I mean it, you yankees be treatin’ me real nice. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m now up to date on shots! Yee-haw! And boy it sure feels good to no longer have them nasty fleas using my tail for a tailgate party. And I’m finally neutered, which means I am no longer a stud in the literal sense of the word, but rather a “stud” like “stud muffin”. Good lookin’ and fit as a fiddle.
That’s me. Having a name is a new experience for me. Ain’t never had one before. But I sure do like my purdy new name, and I’m quickly learning to recognize it.
I ain’t never heard of this “housebreaking” thing before. My foster mama has been watching me like a hawk and every time I start to lift my leg on the furniture she says no and brings me outside. Then she praises me when I do my business there. She’s real particular about that. And I’m hankerin’ to master this whole routine. Hopefully I will real soon.
And what in tarnation is “basic commands”? I have no clue what “sit” or “stay” or “come” means. That must be some native New York gibberish I guess. I just stare blankly when I hear those things. Hopefully by the time I’m adopted I will have made the connection between words and expectations. Foster mama’s been giving me treats when I do it right.
This here New York is a mysterious place. They have weird new things here, like, stairs. And baths. And toys. And milkbones. And people who take you on long walks, with a leash! So much change has come into my life so quickly. Darn tootin’ craziness! But I figure I stick with it. I’ve already made great strides. I’m starting to really get the hang of how stairs work. I reckon with consistency & patience, I will grow more comfortable with all of these new concepts.
I say, there’s somethin’ else I must confess that’s rather embarrassing. When another dog approaches my food dish while I’m eating, or attempts to take a toy out of my mouth, I give them an ugly growl, and it makes them back off lickety split. Before I moved to New York, individual resources for us dogs were as scarce as hen’s teeth, so I’m conditioned to protect what little I have. Show ’nuff my foster mama be trying to help me with
this unfortunate hang up.
But listen here. Overall, my personality and temperament is hunky dorey. I’m a very gentle soul. Sweeter and softer than homemade puddin’. Perfectly
content to lay on your lap or stretch out on the kitchen floor, whichever the case may be. I ain’t bothered by nobody. Dogs, cats, kids, strangers… they’re all dandy to me. Just so long as they ain’t goin’ after my food or taking toys out of my mouth! Crates don’t bother me neither. Heck, I spent the majority of my life in a crate, so I feel right at home. I swear, you won’t find a more laid-back gentlemen. My foster mama says I’m one step up from owning a stuffed teddy bear. So why not rope me in & let me be your southern comfort. I’m fixin to meet you!
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